Financial dependency remains one of the major factors keeping victims of gender-based violence trapped in abusive relationships, experts have said.
This was disclosed at a survivor’s forum organised by a Non-Governmental Organisation on violence against women, Project Alert, on Thursday in Lagos as part of activities marking Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
The event was held to honour survivors and victims who lost their lives to domestic violence.
Founder of Kudimata Nigeria Limited, Kathleen Erhimu, who spoke on “Building Financial Strength After Surviving Violence,” said many women remain in abusive homes because they lack financial independence.
She explained that beyond physical and sexual abuse, financial abuse is a major weapon used by perpetrators to maintain control.
“When a woman controls her money, she controls her choices of everything. Make sure that during tough times, you must always have a growth mindset and not a fixed mindset,” she said.
Erhimu explained that recovery for survivors goes beyond healing from emotional trauma, but involves rebuilding financial stability.
“Every aspect of survival is an act of strength, and rebuilding begins with empowerment. Financial strength is more than money. It is about control, confidence, and choices.”
She urged survivors to learn income-generating skills, start small businesses, and embrace financial discipline.
“You need to save smartly with a small business and constantly build resilience. Acquire skills by learning a trade or digital work, focus on your goals, earn and expand your income, as well as believe in your resilience,” she advised.
Executive Director of Project Alert, Dr Josephine Effah-Chukwuma, emphasised that no home should be a place of fear.
“Whether it is a man who started the violence or a woman, what we are saying is no to domestic violence. When it is time to go home and your heart starts beating faster than expected, you are scared of going home, then that means there is a problem. The home should be a safe place,” she said.
She said survivors often face multiple forms of abuse, including economic violence, which can worsen their trauma and hinder recovery.
“Adding financial violence to sexual or domestic violence means suicide. We will not give up but keep fighting to have a better society.”
Dr Effah-Chukwuma also highlighted the plight of widows who experience violence after the death of their husbands.
“Sometimes, it happens to widows. It never happened when their late husband was alive, but after his death, the family members started coming to violate her all because they wanted to take away the properties,” she lamented.
A licensed Clinical Psychologist and Sex Therapist, Dr Pamela Udoka, who spoke on “Healing Survivors’ Wounds: Empowerment, Recovery and Hope for Survival,” said trauma leaves emotional and psychological scars that are often invisible.
“There are wounds inside you that you cannot touch. Those wounds are emotional and psychological scars that cannot be seen but deeply affect your daily lives,” she said.
Dr Udoka explained that survivors often struggle with fear, guilt, nightmares, and self-doubt, which affect their relationships and mental health.
“You need to be careful when going into isolation because if care is not taken, it leads to depression. We understand that sometimes you decide to stay away from men, but do not allow that isolation to turn into depression.”
She urged survivors to take their healing journey gradually and to focus on rebuilding their confidence and identity.
“For survival, it is a journey that cannot just happen at once because it is not a switch that you turn on and off. You need to allow yourself to heal first, and as long as you are alive, you can achieve better things,” she said.
Executive Secretary, Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency, Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi, reaffirmed the state’s partnership with Project Alert in supporting survivors.
Vivour-Adeniyi, who was represented by by Head, Case Management Department of the agency, Tunminu Oni, said, “It is a privilege to be here, where Project Alert is helping a lot of survivors. I can assure you that you are healing well with their assistance. Project Alert has been collaborating with Lagos State, and we are ready to do more.”
She encouraged survivors to apply the lessons learnt at the forum to rebuild their lives.
“I implore you all to adhere to all you learn here, and together, we can move from survival to strength.”
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